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BFFs At Work? Do You Have One?

⁉️Do you know, what every single woman who’s shared her encounter of female rivalry with me has said? She felt alone when she was going through it. 🥺

💡We feel lonely when we feel like we don’t belong, or don’t connect with other people.

A recent Harvard Business Review Article, The Power of Work Friends (2022) states,

“Millions of people suffer from loneliness. More than 300 million people globally don’t have a single friend, according to Gallup data. And more than 20% of people don’t have friends or family they can count on whenever they need them.”

🥺That’s more than distressing. It’s tragic!

⁉️”So how,” you may be asking, “can one change that statistic?”

Let’s look at where many of us spend a great deal of time... work!

⁉️Do you have a work BFF?

There’s a frequent thought that ‘work’ is not the place to make ‘good friends,’ because it’s a ‘professional’ setting. There’s also a common myth, that women are harder on each other than they are on men. Is that true? Yes, to some degree, it’s absolutely true. But, it doesn’t have to be that way!

Women don’t have to be frenemies or bully one other. They can in fact, support, uplift and empower. That’s why it’s vital to have a female sisterhood; a variety of good friends in various situations who do just that! The simple force of the female dynamic, in female-to-female relationships, is powerful on many levels. Yes, my friend, even at work.

‼️The problem at hand is, women get a bad rap for not supporting each other, especially at work. Work is how you make a living. Female rivalry situations are not good in any circumstance but at work, a variety of feelings can emerge that add to an already emotional condition. Especially, if negative behaviors impact your paycheck.

I’m not downplaying the negative behavior of female rivalry in the office, because I know first-hand, it exists. It can be downright brutal and very difficult for women to make friends at work. Instead of positive competition, there’s often negative competition, which stems from a male dominated culture, feelings that there isn’t enough room at the top, or a lack of psychological safety. However, when we compete and compare we can’t connect, and that ultimately affects trust, productivity and communication.

⁉️Can you have a BFF at work? Absolutely! I think it’s so important, with as much time as we spend at work, to enjoy the people you’re ‘doing business with!’ I’ve met some of my best friends at work. A 2018 Gallup poll showed the significance of having a BFF at work and how it pertains to overall performance,

“women who strongly agree they have a best friend at work are more than twice as likely to be engaged (63%) compared with the women who say otherwise (29%).”

Not only does it impact productivity, BFFs provide social and emotional support. Having one at work, pushes you to be better – because you feel accountable to them and don’t want to let them down. A 2022 Gallup poll summarizes that employees who have a BFF at work are significantly more likely to,

  • Engage with customers

  • Get more done in less time

  • Support a safe workplace

  • Innovate and share ideas

  • Have FUN!

Ultimately, a BFF at work, fosters collaboration and connection. It creates inclusion, feeling like you belong to someone and more so, the broader group at hand. When this happens, you feel like you fit in and can be yourself – just as you are. In a nutshell, this is the foundation for feeling psychologically safe at work and promotes the following,

  • Trust

  • Authenticity

  • Self-awareness

  • Inclusion

  • Communication

It’s a known fact that women who like themselves, like other women! Having a BFF and a female sisterhood at work is a wonderful support outlet and is a way to promote solidarity behavior,

“an awareness of shared interests, objectives, standards and sympathies creating a psychological sense of unity of groups or classes. It refers to the ties in a society that bind people together as one” (Wikipedia, 2020).

When ‘solidarity behavior’ works, it brings women together to contribute in forming alliances, collaborating for a common purpose, exhibiting loyalty and bonding. So what are you waiting for, Queen?! 👸🏻 ⁉️Do you have BFF at work? If not, you absolutely should!

You already are. It’s time TO BE.♥️

⁉️Do you have a BFF at work? If so, how does ‘she’ make you better at work? Drop me a line, I’d love to know!

P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about how to deal with female frenemies, follow me on LinkedIn! Stay tuned for my blog out in two weeks about mean girls.

I say that it’s time to be different. It’s time to talk about what female rivalry is, to know how to break it down one action at a time.


⁉️Interested in learning how ‘female rivalry’ impacts the workplace? 🎉DOWNLOAD my FREE .pdf guide, ‘5 Reasons WHY Good Women Walk’ to learn more!


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