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When We Compare And Compete We Can’t Connect.

I was recently thinking that for someone who’s an observer to my blogs and social media content it may come across that I’m (only) very passionate about highlighting awareness about negative female behaviors.

Let me be clear dear reader, I’m very much all of that!

I’ve experienced it, researched it for years and have collected stories from women that are utterly heart wrenching... and their stories absolutely need to be told.

However, it goes beyond the harmful elements. More so than the rivalry component, I’m beyond passionate about helping women overcome these negative behaviors to be better together.

There’s an extremely positive side to the work I’m doing. This positive side often gets lost in the shuffle of all of the energy it takes to overcome the negativity, because, there’s a lot of:

  • Push-back.

  • Hesitancy to be transparent and talk about this negative way of behaving.

  • Refusal to accept, from an individual perspective, that ‘I’ may have done anything to contribute to what’s going on.

Bottom line, when we compare and compete we can’t connect.

I’m always in awe of all the women who’ve shared something so personal, emotional and so fragile, to trust me enough to feel comfortable doing so. I’ve come to realize that it helps me showcase what these behaviors truly are, but it helps them more – to cope and ultimately move on.

Frequently, it’s the first time these women have ever shared their stories about their experience with anyone. As a result, they’ve built up so much unreleased emotion that needs to come out. Often, there are huge insights that occur when they share. They see more clearly the entire picture of what transpired, which includes their own behavior as well as that of the ‘other female.’ They’re often able to reflect. This reflection also brings an unbiased approach to their thoughts and feelings. They want,

  • Awareness about this type of behavior highlighted.

  • To help other women.

  • To prevent this type of behavior from continuing.

  • To foster an expectation and an environment where this type of behavior doesn’t occur.

After we talk, many women thank me. Some have been completely bewildered, simply by the fact that they never really knew how much their experience impacted their,

  • Friendships with other women.

  • Ability to work for another female.

  • Wherewithal to ever work on an all-female team, ever again.

To say the least, these conversations are eye-opening. Not only is it do-able, flipping the way we view and talk about female rivalry is necessary.

“Because true power doesn’t come from rivalry, it comes from uplifting, empowering, and supporting our sisters, our friends, our daughters, and womankind.” -Dr. Amber Tichenor

You already are. It’s time TO BE.♥️

P.S. Stay tuned for my blog out next week as I begin a 4-part series about ‘frenemies.

⁉️Interested in learning how ‘female rivalry’ impacts the workplace? 🎉DOWNLOAD my FREE .pdf guide, ‘5 Reasons WHY Good Women Walk’ to learn more!


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