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Autonomy, Love, Vulnerability and Humility.

I love learning about anything related to Psychological Safety. I recently took the S.A.F.E.T.Y. Assessment by the Academy of Brain-based Leadership to better understand how my brain is motivated. By a wide margin I landed in the ‘autonomy’ category. It’s defined as:

“Our need to feel we have control over our environment and have choices.”

I wasn’t surprised.

In fact, it’s pretty on point for many things in my life.

However, I’ve come to the realization that as much as I’d like to think I do, I really don’t have control over my physical body. Sure, I may influence it, but true control, nope. My physical body will do what it’s going to do. And no matter what that is, I’m just along for the ride.

This realization is huge for someone who feels like they need to have control over everything.

It’s scary when you realize you don’t.

Like when I found out I had breast cancer.

We may not be able to control our circumstances. But something I speak about frequently in the work I do with psychological safety and female rivalry behaviors, we CAN always control how we respond or react to something. Especially as it pertains to mindset.


She stayed strong and persisted. ⬅In case you’re wondering, that’s me, and I’m doing ok. I had surgery. I’m healing. I’m listening to my body and taking it easy when I need to. I’ll start a month’s worth of radiation in a few weeks and take meds for a few years. As I said in my last blog, I really do feel like I’ve dodged a BIG ass-kicking-bullet.

Because of that, I’m so very thankful.

This experience has been life-changing.

I’ve also recognized, as it pertains to control, it’s not a failure if you aren’t in control. It’s not a failure to hand-off ‘control’ to someone else. In fact, it’s more than ok to say you’re not ok, and ask for help.

As a result of my recent health adventure I’ve been deeply reacquainted with the behaviors of love, vulnerability and humility.

  • Love. The selfless acts of kindness, time and thoughtfulness. I’ve been utterly blown away by the outpouring of love and support I’ve received from SO many people. The sisterhood, family, friends, men and women. I’ve reconnected with so many people, some I hadn’t spoken to in years. Including a few I met in Kindergarten, which greatly warms my heart. ♥️

  • Vulnerability. The courage to take a risk and put yourself out there when you can’t control the outcome. Sometimes you have zero control over the end result, but it’s important to always, persist and keep going. You never know what each new day will bring and to not keep going, simply isn’t an option.

  • Humility. The strength to admit you don’t have all of the answers and that you need help to succeed. For me, this means accepting what I can do in this particular moment in time, and letting go of what I can’t.

I’ll be honest, some of these things have been hard for me to do.

In doing so, though, it’s opened up so much more. Support and strength from others. The connection of kindness and the hope of infinite possibility. It’s more than a blessing. I’m beyond grateful and privileged to have these types of relationships in my life.

While I may not have the autonomy my personality type seems to crave based on the assessment I recently took, I’m learning to go with the flow and put my energy to better use. I’m thankful to realize that the ‘need for control’ can be draining. It’s ok to let go and to be open, to what the universe presents you.

Sometimes in that, you’ll find gifts you least expect.

You already are. It’s time TO BE.♥️

P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about Psychological Safety and how to deal with female frenemies, follow me on LinkedIn!

I say that it’s time to be different. It’s time to talk about what female rivalry is, to know how to break it down one action at a time.


⁉️Interested in learning how ‘female rivalry’ impacts the workplace? 🎉DOWNLOAD my FREE .pdf guide, 5 Reasons WHY Good Women Walk’ to learn more!


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