“Anytime anything came up between us she’d make me feel like I was over-sensitive and blowing things out of proportion. She was never accountable and always put blame on others. If she had a problem she’d instantly share, but if I wanted to tell her about something, she never had time to listen. I know now, I wasn’t a top priority to her.”
Julia references a One-Sided Frenemy who’s unequal and only reaches out when she needs something. When you need a friend, she’s never around, is always in crisis-mode and loves attention but rarely seems to take advice that could help things improve.
This blog, ‘Is An Over-Involved Frenemy Truly Your Friend?’ is the last in a 4-part series that takes a deep-dive into frenemy personas and focuses on the final four personas, one-sided, over-involved, passive-aggressive and unfiltered frenemies. The 1st blog provided an overview of all the personas, the 2nd described ambivalent and competitive frenemies, and the 3rd addressed controlling, jealous and negative-difficult frenemies.
A ‘frenemy’ is the opposite of a friend, combines the characteristics of ‘friend’ and ‘enemy’ and is someone you don’t trust because they’ve given you very good reason to not trust them. It’s traditionally someone you’re friendly with, despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry, and has been used to describe personal and working relationships.
Let’s check out the last three personas!
“I’d known Donna for a long time, she was like family. She got married and had children. I didn’t. At some point, she was on a mission to find me a husband. She started reaching out to family, telling them about my dating life, and questioning why I wasn’t taking it seriously. It was too much.”
Jessie describes an Over-Involved Frenemy. who’s focused on details of your life often, without your approval. She’ll reach out to your family, friends, or significant others in inappropriate ways without your permission, on the pretense of showing concern for your well-being.
“My husband’s best friend and wife lived next door. When they divorced she stayed in the house and we continued to hang out with her. When their divorce was final, he took custody of the house, started dating someone new, and got married again. One day his ex-wife unfriended me on social media. I reached out and said, ‘Hey, I noticed you unfriended me.’ Her response was, ‘It’s nice that you’re so ‘worried’ about me while you’re hanging out with them!’
Shelby describes a Passive-Aggressive Frenemy who avoids confrontation. She’ll say mean things and give backhanded compliments, but never directly to you. She’ll do something purposeful but then acts like it was a mistake.
“I had an agreement for the summer that I’d work part-time. I sat next to Kelsey who seemed to think I should let her know my whereabouts at all time. I didn’t report to her but she treated me like I did. She’s always say rude things in front of other people like, ‘Wow, looks like you’ve been out in the sun! It must be nice to not have to work as much as the rest of us!’”
The Unfiltered-Undermining Frenemy insults, makes fun of, and cracks sarcastic jokes about you so frequently that it’s hard for you to tolerate. She discloses your secrets in public.
Is your mind blown thinking about some ‘friends’ you may have, that are actually ‘frenemies?’
Frenemies are prevalent in everyday living. The ‘frenemy’ persona is vast and wide and if you’re in a relationship with one, they can leave a big impact that’s usually negative. They’ve been around for a long time, and if you’re involved with one, I’m sure that you absolutely agree with me that this type of relationship can have serious repercussions.
You already are. It’s time TO BE.♥️
I say that it’s time to be different. It’s time to talk about female frenemies.
⁉️Interested in learning how ‘female rivalry’ impacts the workplace? 🎉DOWNLOAD my FREE .pdf guide, ‘5 Reasons WHY Good Women Walk’ to learn more!