The Joy of Being Seen
Over the past few months, I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be seen.
I mean, really truly be seen-seen... for who, what, why and how you are as a human.
Not for who you want to be or what your title or status reflects that you’re supposed to be.
We often talk about ‘being seen’ as something we need because it reduces loneliness. It helps us feel understood and reminds us that we're not carrying life alone. All of that is definitely true but recently I've realized there's another side to it. Being seen isn't only healing.
It's joyful.
Recently, I hosted an in-person gathering of HER Table, a small community I created for accomplished women. I had an agenda, a theme, and thoughtful questions carefully prepared. We barely used any of them. Instead, we sat around a table and talked. We laughed, listened, and shared what was really going on in our lives.
No one tried to fix anyone or felt the need to perform. No one was trying to prove they had it all together. Quite the opposite in fact, everyone was open and vulnerable.
Somewhere in the middle of that morning I realized something. When people feel safe enough to be themselves, they don't become smaller. They become more of who they already are.
That isn't just healing.
It's joyful.
I think so many accomplished women spend years being seen for what they do as a result of their leadership, competence, reliability, and ability to hold everything together.
But that’s not the full picture of everything else that’s going on.
Those things are only part of the bigger picture.
There’s another kind of seeing.
It’s the kind that notices your courage before your résumé, kindness before your title, and humanity before productivity. It’s the kind that quietly says, 'I see who you're becoming.'
That kind of seeing changes us. Not because it tells us who we should become, but because it reminds us who we've been all along.
I've also been learning something personally.
Life doesn't always unfold the way we imagined it would.
Sometimes we're growing and grieving at the very same time.
Sometimes we’re moving forward while still holding space for what came before.
And sometimes we're discovering new parts of ourselves while making sense of how different life looks from what we expected.
I've discovered that during seasons like this, being seen doesn't erase heaviness or magically make things easier. It does however, do something equally important. It helps us keep moving.... one day at a time.
Really truly being seen, reminds us that someone notices our strength on the days we don't feel particularly strong. Someone recognizes our growth before we do. Someone reflects back the parts of ourselves we've temporarily forgotten.
And that reflection becomes a light we can borrow until we find our own again.
I think that's why authentic connection matters so much.It’s not because someone rescues us or gives us answers. It’s because they hold up a mirror that says:
'You're still here. You're still becoming. I see you.'
And maybe there’s something else that happens when we feel truly seen.
We stop working quite so hard to prove that we’re enough. When we're around people who see and accept us as we are, there’s less need to perform, explain, or manage how we're perceived.
Sometimes enough IS enough.
Enough proving, performing, pretending, trying to earn belonging, or shrinking to make other people comfortable.
That doesn't mean we've stopped evolving or moving forward. It means growth doesn't always require more. Sometimes growth is knowing what no longer deserves our energy.
And perhaps that's another reason being seen matters.The right people don't tell us who to become. They give us room to figure that out for ourselves.
Being seen doesn't just help us feel less alone. It can give us the confidence to trust who we are and who we're becoming.
❓Who sees you for who you really are?
And perhaps the harder question: Where do you have enough safety and trust to let yourself be fully seen?
👉🏼And what becomes lighter, freer, or more joyful when you do?
If this conversation resonates with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts and stay connected. I write and speak about women's leadership, psychological safety, authenticity, connection, and the human dynamics that shape how we shop up for one another.
♥️Today I will be fearless.
Today I am grateful.
P.S. Are you trying to better understand and improve the female dynamics on your team, follow me on LinkedIn to learn more!
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