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JOMO: A Different Perspective.


⁉️Did you know that emotions are inherently social because they’re woven through our interactions with other people.

⁉️Did you also know that people laugh five times as often when they’re with others as when they’re alone? Even chatting with someone you pass on the street can spark joy. More joy than you’ll feel from reading a comic or viewing a witty video on tik-tok.

“Peak happiness lies mostly in collective activity.” -Adam Grant

Do you have JOMO?

The kind of JOMO I’m referring to may not be the type you’re thinking of. Let me explain.

Coined in 2012, JOMO is defined as the “Joy Of Missing Out” on the right things. Life taking things like toxic hustle, comparison, and digital drain. JOMO is enjoying what you're doing in each moment without worrying about what everyone else is doing, as a way to live a more intentional life.

I recently read a New York Time article, “There’s a Specific Kind of Joy We’ve Been Missing” published by Organizational Psychologist Adam Grant that focuses on the idea of collective effervescence. Grant shares the concept of collective effervescence, an idea conceived by Emile Durkheim in the 20th century, described as when people experience their greatest joy. Grant further describes it as, “the sense of energy and harmony people feel when they come together in a group around a shared purpose."

It’s the jollification that people observe and honor, simply by being together.

The JOMO I’m talking about has a different angle, it’s the specific type of joy we’ve been missing over the past year and a half, of people not being able to come together. As I’m sure you can also relate to, there’s been a lot to miss out on!

In fact, I don’t know a single person who hasn’t been impacted. From family gatherings, milestone celebrations, planned activities and trips, to uneventful-everyday-social activities. While some of these activities, when we were in the throes of them, may have seemed redundant. Most often, they were events we looked forward to because they brought us joy.

It’s these type of social occurrences that many of us took for granted (because why in the world would they disappear or go away⁉️) that have had the most impact of melancholy.

This concept of collective effervescence is relevant to so many things in life.

When reading Grant’s article my first thought went to the type of work I do about female relationships and the ability to be with women who uplift and empower you. I felt a sense of sadness for what I’ve personally lost with my female friends and circles, all because we’ve been unable to get together in person.

Collective effervescence as applied to this past year and a half, and women getting together, has been hard. Sure. It’s helped to be able to get together virtually. But it’s just not the same because, women need each other.

There is actually science behind this concept of the sisterhood. In a nutshell, women release hormones to other women that are healthy and help to remove stress hormones. (I share more about this theory in my blog, “The Antonym of Female Rivalry is the Female Sisterhood. Who’s in Your Circle?”). Dr. Shelly Taylor, UCLA Scientist summarizes,

“Aggression and withdrawal take a physiological toll, whereas friendship brings comfort that diminish the effects of stress. This difference in seeking social support during stressful periods is the principal way men and women differ in their response to stress, and one of the most basic differences in men’s and women’s behavior.”

It's time to overcome, find our joie de vivre and let the sisterhood reign strong! Collective activity means activity together; the ability to chase our joy socially and in person. It’s going to be a work in progress but with effort, mindset and creativity, we got this! As Adam Grant summarizes,

“You can feel depressed or anxious alone, but it’s rare to laugh alone or love alone. Joy shared is joy sustained.”

Collective effervescence is shared joy. Finding your sisterhood is shared joy too.

Cheers to bringing back joy and booking that next in-person-get-together on your calendar!

You already are. It’s time To Be.


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