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Hater's Gonna Hate: Shake It Off Baby!

There’s a person in my social circle that no matter what I do or have done, it’s perceived with malice. It’s been that way for years. And I do mean years! In this individuals eyes, I’m always doing something wrong and therefore it makes it super easy for them to continuously point blame. So much so that I’ve heard all about their ill-will towards me, shared by several other people.

⁉️Does it suck? Yes, of course it does and I’ll be honest, it used to really bother me. However, as the one of many sayings about this goes...

“Perception is more important than reality.”

Which essentially means, if someone perceives something to be true, it’s more important than if it’s in fact true. It’s their own reality.

On the flip side, I absolutely know where I stand in my own truth, because I know I’m genuinely not the person this individual says or thinks I am. Do I have to explain that to them? No. It’s not worth my energy because this person is not someone I want close to me. They’re not in my tribe and never will be. Does it still bother me? Not so much these days. I’ve taken a step back, don’t engage and let them do their own thing.

⁉️I’m sure at some point you may have also experienced a ‘hater.’ Someone who discourages, doesn’t like certain people, and is always negative. When it’s directed towards you, it feels like that person that doesn’t like you and no matter what you do, will always find a good reason to dislike you, even more.

Haters can be in your social-circles and yep, I’m sure you know what I’m going to say next... They can also show up big-time at work which can be hugely disruptive. When you’re trying to manage a team, collaborate together as a group and get a job done, it only takes one squeaky-wheel to disrupt a positive group dynamic and turn it sour. And what happens then? People check out, engagement goes down the drain and last but not least, good women walk.

Social and work ‘hater’ signs may include things like:

  • Can’t stand to see you successful or happy

  • Disagrees with you about everything

  • Disrespects you

  • Is sarcastic and uses humor to attempt to disguise judgement and hostility

  • Is judgmental

  • Lies to you and talks behind your back

Yes. I know from experience that it can be very hard to let negative behavior like this go but you have to. Otherwise the negativity has control over you. And who’s winning then? Not you.

Hater’s gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate! Shake it off, baby!

The saying, ‘hater’s gonna hate’ is an informal way to dismiss hater criticism, voice positive support and provide encouragement. Because we all know, the ‘hater’ is making assessments out of their own jealousy and insecurity. It’s such a well-known saying that Taylor Swift wrote a song about it in 2014, ‘Shake It Off’ that rose to the top for her biggest single sales hit of all time.

What can you do when you encounter this behavior at work and socially? My #1 piece of advice is,

  • Don’t take it personally. Always keep in mind their behavior has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you.

They’re in control of their own actions just as you’re in control of yours. Here are a few additional tips to help you navigate through the negativity:

  • Don’t let them see you down. Try to remain unbothered. In situations like this, the person projecting the negative behavior likes to know they’re getting to you.

  • Talk to them. If the person means something to you, not sure why they would at this point, be respectful and straightforward and ask them why they treat you the way they do.

  • Maintain your distance. Keep things private and to yourself.

  • Ignore the behavior. Sooner or later they’ll get bored with you.

  • Walk away. Cut off all the negativity. Find new friends. Find a new job. Move on and don’t let them back in your life.

Bottom line, the people in your circle, know you and what you stand for. They will be there for you.

You already are. It’s time TO BE.♥️

P.S. Stay tuned for my blog out in two weeks about men and female rivalry.

I say that it’s time to be different. It’s time to talk about ‘haters’ to promote awareness about how to shake it off!


⁉️Interested in learning how ‘female rivalry’ impacts the workplace?

🎉DOWNLOAD my FREE .pdf guide, ‘5 Reasons WHY Good Women Walk’ to learn more!


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