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Psychological Safety, Friendship and Falling Leaves. Part II.

The rise and fall of friendships. 🤲🏼

At any age women need a strong sisterhood of support with other women, but many women have shared with me as they’ve gotten older, their friendship circles have gotten smaller. That with age, it’s more difficult to make deep-rooted-connections.

This is the 2nd post in a 2-part series. Read, ‘Psychological Safety, Friendship, and Falling Leaves. Part I’, to get caught up!

A used-to-be-bestie of mine of whom I’m hopeful we’re on our way to mending fences 🙏🏼, recently shared a TikTok with me where a woman asks a man, ‘How often do you think about your ex-best friend? The BFF you were so close to, that you no longer talk to?’ The answer may surprise you. Women think about ‘her’ all of the time. Truth. (Men, not so much). (Side note: Her intent in sharing was not to be mean but truthful and honest because yes, this really IS a thing).

Remember the story Melanie shared, in part 1 of this post? She showed considerable vulnerability by attempting to make amends with her friend. It backfired. She no longer felt safe in that relationship and the friendship ended. Important to note, if you can’t be candid in a friendship, it’s not a healthy relationship -- it’s a charade. Unfortunately, these particular friends weren’t in alignment with each other. Dr. Adam Grant, I/O Psychologist, recently shared on IG about alignment vs. agreement,

Strong relationships don’t need agreement. They need alignment. Agreement is having identical opinions. Alignment is having shared values. Agreement is taking the same path. Alignment is heading in the same direction. Closeness is a matter of commitment, not consensus.”

The dissolution of a friendship is painful. It’s totally common that friendships drift and fade especially, in adulthood. You miss her and who you were together. The emptiness of ‘her’ being gone can leave a huge hole in your heart. Where once vulnerable fragments of yourselves were shared... that’s now gone.

It’s absolutely painful to lose someone you love but on the flip side -- it’s equally important to have awareness when someone is ok with losing you and stop fighting for it. Silence IS an answer. 💔Amidst Melanie’s heartache she realized what she couldn’t control. She was able to see a friendship for what it was. Embracing change fostered her the ability to let something go that no longer served her. People that love you – should care about how they make you feel. Period.

It's hard with most anything in life to let things go but each year the trees teach us there is beauty in doing so. Like leaves, some friendships are only in our lives for a season. If it’s not working for you, it’s ok to let it go.

Shifting the perspective.

With that being said, women need to get into the habit of elevating their friendships to make them a priority. The ultimate goal for those friends that have stuck with you through thick and thin, is to keep them! An extra bit of work can help each of you maintain alignment, not just agreement,

  • Have an annual trip on the calendar

  • Schedule a weekly phone call

  • Send her a note ‘just because

  • If you hear a song that reminds you of her, let her know

When a friendship succeeds, that person is giving back to you the feeling you wish you could give to yourself. And seeing the person you wish to be in the world.” -Benjamin Taylor

Psychological Safety is the key to happy, high-performing teams AND friendships. It’s the foundation for feeling safe, being vulnerable, instilling trust, and having open and honest communication. This, my friend, ultimately leads to heightened success with EVERY relationship you have.

⁉️Do you want to improve your performance and that of your team? I can help you! Drop me a line or DM me on LinkedIn or IG.

Today I will be fearless. Today I am grateful.

Shine on beautiful people. 🦄

P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about psychological safety and how to deal with female frenemies, follow me on LinkedIn!


I say that it’s time to be different. It’s time to talk about what female rivalry is, to know how to break it down one action at a time.

⁉️Interested in learning how ‘female rivalry’ impacts the workplace? 🎉DOWNLOAD my FREE .pdf guide, ‘5 Reasons WHY Good Women Walk’to learn more!


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