Lately, every morning on our way to school, my daughter and I pick out our favorite trees, erupting in all their magnificent glory – a kaleidoscope of brilliant, dazzling hues. It’s breathtaking.
I recently saw this quote,
“the trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let things go.”
I’d never really thought about ‘letting go’ in terms of a tree analogy. But it’s true. We’re deep into the Fall season and as the leaves change from green into vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows, they put on a majestic show. It’s so beautiful it can be difficult to focus on what’s really happening... the end of a life cycle.
Friendship is one of the most important things you can invest in. Your friendship circles, your sisterhood, your besties, should be your most trusted confidants. Yes, we all want to believe in this. I think all women need this; women with whom you feel absolutely 100%, completely yourself with. They trust you and you them. You’re vulnerable with each other and you each feel safe. They’re there when you need them, through thick and thin. They’re the ones who have your back, even if you’re not around.
I don’t think anyone goes into a friendship thinking it’s temporary but life happens and things change. I recently read,
“What makes friendship so fragile is exactly what makes it so special. Friendship is the rare kind of relationship that remains forever available to us as we age. It’s a bulwark against statis, a potential source of creativity and renewal in our lives that otherwise narrow with time.” -Jennifer Senior
And it’s true! Friendships can be oh, so very fragile. As difficult as it can be, some friendships ebb and flow. In our society there’s lots of talk about partner-relationships ending. However, there’s less conversation about friendships that end. Some friendships can break your heart equally, if not more so, than a partner-relationship breakup.
In my line of work I’ve heard many stories about why friendships change.
They’d outgrown each other.
They didn’t have ‘her’ back or were untruthful.
They stopped communicating.
Melanie shared about a 12-year-friendship that ended:
“She was a best friend, like family. We spent several holidays together. Our kids were great friends too. Over time they grew apart but we remained tight up until we had a disagreement. I tried several times to talk to her in person but she wouldn’t engage and went radio silent. She even blocked me on social media. Then I heard through the grapevine about things she’d been telling other people that weren’t true.
I was so hurt that she didn’t care enough about our friendship to talk, and was shocked that she was spreading lies. It’s like, ‘Poof!’ 12-years of friendship down the drain. It’s not the outcome I want but she has to do what’s best for her. I love her but I have to grieve, heal, and somehow, just let it go.”
Melanie’s pain and confusion was clearly visible. For obvious reasons it’s a hard pill to swallow when someone you thought was a close friend, lies and then completely ghosts you.
The key premise of Psychological Safety is that you won’t be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns or mistakes. It’s the ability to be vulnerable and feel safe in the presence of others. This concept is very applicable in a working environment and equally so, in a personal friendship.
There’s more to come on this topic!
Stay tuned for the 2nd part of this blog out in 2 weeks, ‘Psychological Safety, Friendship, and Falling Leaves. Part II’
Today I will be fearless. Today I am grateful.
Shine on beautiful people. 🦄
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I say that it’s time to be different. It’s time to talk about what female rivalry is, to know how to break it down one action at a time.
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