top of page

Part II. Letting Go of Destructive Female Friendships: It's Not the White Flag of Surrender

This is Part II of a 3-post series about the good, bad and everything in-between, as it pertains to female friendships.

It’s time to ditch the toxic behavior, baby. It’s time to get rid of venomous relationships and kick that vicious vixen to the curb. Not literally. But figuratively.

Negative female friendships occur. And yes, there are many women that simply ignore the behavior or stay in the relationship because it’s easier than dealing with it.

Is that really the right answer though? No, it’s not.

As mentioned in Part I of this series, “People in romantic relationships break up all the time but to do that in a friendship? Well that’s completely absurd! Because people just don’t talk about that now, do they?” Truth! It seems to be a taboo topic, the lack of ability or openness to talk about this negative side of female relationships. Female relationships of this caliber though, can be gut wrenching, mind blowing and absolutely draining. Mind you, most friendships are definitely not like this. But if you have one of these in your life – then you definitely know what I’m talking about, no explanation needed!

Did you know, the white flag of surrender is an internationally recognized protective sign of truce, ceasefire or negotiation? It’s also used to symbolize surrender, since it’s often the weaker party which requests the negotiation.

Just to be clear, letting go of destructive female friendships is not a white flag of surrender. In this situation, the white flag is positive. It’s a symbol of peace --- for yourself.

It doesn’t mean that you’re weak.

It doesn’t mean that you’ve done something wrong and you have to walk away with your tail tucked between your legs.

It doesn’t mean that you’re better than her.

It’s absolutely the opposite, dear reader. It means that you’re no longer ignoring the situation, giving in to her harmful ways and letting her walk all over you.

It’s giving yourself permission to not put up with the negative behavior.

It’s listening to your intuition.

It’s saving yourself from drowning, by using the red flags that are presented.

Signs that you’re ready to let go of a destructive female relationship:

  • You’ve got a clear vision and know what you don’t want/ won’t tolerate

  • You’re aware of your ‘inner-she-bully’ and no longer letting self-toxic behavior hold you back

  • You’re focused on personal growth and self-care

  • You’re spending time with people who uplift, empower and support you

  • You’re no longer make excuses for her and know you have the power to say ‘no more’

  • You know you’ll feel freer, not being involved in this toxic, destructive cycle

  • You realize that life is too short for unnecessary drama and fake friends

I’ve had many women share with me the negative side of this action...

Parting ways is not done easily. It’s sad and can be utterly heartbreaking, especially if there is a long history between the two of you.

Food for Thought: If you are in a relationship with a ‘friend’ and you never feel good about yourself, always feel like you have to tip-toe, or can’t be your true self when you are around her --- is that really the type of friendships you want in your life?

The answer should be no.

Make that a big fat NO.

On the flip side, women have also shared with me the positive side of this action...

Walking away from a negative friend is being confident in who you are as a person and knowing the types of friendships you want to have in your life. Friends that are authentically there for you, unconditionally.

And that feeling dear reader, is joyful freeing and exhilarating.

Trust me, those types of people are out there.

You already are. It’s time To Be.

P.S. This was Part I, in a 3-post series. Stay tuned for my next update about the positive side of female friendships and how a good friend should make you feel.


bottom of page