“For as long as I can recall, there’s always been an up and down pattern between me and my mom. She’d brag about me to her sisters. And while I didn’t think this, she’d say things like, ‘Maren is the prettiest, has the best husband, the best house, and the most handsome children.’
When I got divorced, she immediately switched, ‘You’re making me look bad, working out and going out. You’re shaming the family and just want to be a whore!’ A few years later, because I made her look good again, I was back in her good graces. ‘Oh, look what Maren’s doing on her own, she’s so successful, has her own business, remodeled her house, has fantastic children, and is better than what yours are doing.’ It was awful.”
What Maren described is an example of an Ambivalent Frenemy, who has both positive and negative qualities. Sometimes she’s helpful and polite but she’s also selfish and competitive. She’ll choose how she acts, based upon what ‘she gets’ out of the situation.
‼️✈️ Frenemies are stealthy and often fly under the radar. So it can be a shock when you discover that someone you thought close to you, doesn’t have your best interest at heart. ⁉️It’s a hard thing to admit, but chances are if they were your ‘friend’ and now are your ‘frenemy,’ they weren’t really your true friend to begin with.
This blog, ‘Do You Have A Competitive Frenemy In Your Life?’ is the 2nd in a 4-part series, that takes a deep-dive into frenemy personas. The 1st blog provided an overview of all the personas and this blog describes ambivalent and competitive frenemies. To recap, a ‘frenemy’ is the opposite of a friend and combines the characteristics of ‘friend’ and ‘enemy.’ It’s someone you don’t trust because they’ve given you very good reason to not trust them. It’s traditionally someone whom you may be friendly with, despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry, and has been used to describe personal and working relationships.
Now let’s check out the Competitive Frenemy persona:
“A good friend of mine whom I’m really close to is also really competitive with me. If I tell her, ‘I got a raise today.’ She’ll say, ‘Oh, I got a $10,000 bonus today.’ If I say, ‘My daughter got 1st place in swim,’ she’ll say, ‘My daughter broke all of the swim records today.’ I’m divorced. She’ll jokingly say, ‘I’m getting divorced.’ She never just lets me have a moment of my own. It’s been that since I met her in college. I see this competition from her and I’ve never really known why it’s there.”
The Competitive Frenemy is a competitor of one. She’s well-behaved and complimentary in front of others. However, she never wants anything ‘good’ to happen to you, or for you to be more successful than she is. She’ll try to ‘one-up’ you any chance she gets especially, if it gives her the spotlight.
Are your wheels turning as some of these personas resonate with you, about women you’ve encountered or currently have in your life? Stay tuned next week for the 3rd blog in this series, as I dive into three more frenemy personalities.
You already are. It’s time TO BE.♥️
I say that it’s time to be different. It’s time to talk about female frenemies.
⁉️Interested in learning how ‘female rivalry’ impacts the workplace? 🎉DOWNLOAD my FREE .pdf guide, ‘5 Reasons WHY Good Women Walk’ to learn more!